Day 22 – Sharpen the Hooks and Tighten the Pacing

Posted on by March 23, 2015
Reply

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

Today I will be looking at hooks and pacing.

Pace should be consistent with your genre. A romance would move at a slower pace than a thriller. In all genres pace should speed up at major plot moments. There should be waves of fast and slow pacing throughout the story.

Hooks keep the reader asking questions.  What happened next? What will they do? How will they get out of it? What’s the deal with X?

I never thought of hooks anywhere other than the first page, but I did know to finish each chapter with a question or cliffhanger, so I guess I have hooks in that respect. But Janice recommends one to three hook lines on every page.

I am concentrating on slow spots that might lose readers and spots that encourage readers to skim, because that is my greatest concern. I keep going back to Chapter 30, which I’ve mentioned before, because I haven’t felt comfortable with it. I realize now it needs some hooks. Now that I’ve added them, I am finally happy with the outcome.

Results: My story is taking shape and I am learning how each revision is making my writing tighter and smoother. I have learned that pacing is like a wave, pulsing in and out, never stagnant.

Take-Away Value:

Pacing can be slow because it is too wordy. Look for dialogue that is empty, any unnecessary action or description, weak goals or stakes. If the pacing is too fast, look for opportunities to add breathers, such as glimpses of a character’s personality or scene.

What about your pacing? Do you tend to stick with action or get bogged down in description?

See you on the next page.

 

 

Day 21 – Streamline the Internalization

Posted on by March 21, 2015
Reply

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

Today’s subject is internalization—those sentences and paragraphs of conversation inside the POV’s head. I am to look at judgment and reactions, unnecessary filtering, and italicizing.

Janice suggests a search on question marks, the reasoning being that a litany of internal questions could indicate the character is telling readers what they ought to be thinking instead of showing the character reacting.

Filters distance readers from the POV character, which may or may not be what you want. They may explain things that are obvious or lead a writer into telling or crafting passive sentences. Some filter words are: saw, heard, felt, knew, watched, decided, noticed, realized, wondered, thought, and looked.

Immediate thoughts are often italicized. Italics should be used sparingly or not at all. You can change an italic thought into internalization with a simple tense change, such as Is he asking me out? to “Was he asking her out?”

I did the question mark search and found several thoughts that could be restructured. I also eliminated some of the sentences in longer paragraphs. Other good search criteria are: such as, she felt, he realized, I knew.

Results: It is interesting to note that when I search for one thing, I often run across another that needs tweaking. I am more aware of things to look for at this point, and am encouraged that as I write my next story, somewhere in the back of my mind I will pick up on some of these needed changes as I go.

Take-Away Value:

Congratulations! You have completed three weeks!

You should feel stronger now, able to see things in your story you didn’t even know to look for before. Internalization is an important way to let the reader know what the POV character is thinking and feeling. This will bring them into your character’s head and let them see the world through their eyes.

There last three lessons have been more time-consuming for me than the previous ones. Has it been the same way for you?

See you on the next page.

 

 

 

Day 20 – Streamline the Dialog

Posted on by March 20, 2015
Reply

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

It’s time to see if my characters sound as good as they look. Do they sound like real people and have their own voice and style of speaking? Does their language fit their age and status? Are they having an actual conversation, or just stating information for the reader’s benefit? Are they telling each other things they already know? Is there any pointless small talk?

My characters knew how they talked long before I did, which gives each one their own voice. My protagonist speaks very precise English, while a secondary character drops a lot of ending consonants. One speaks in long rants, while another speaks very little.

The last lesson (narrative) and this one are taking me longer than any of the previous ones, and I have fallen behind. I am combining them so I only have to go through my book once instead of twice. This will save time and, hopefully, get me back on track.

Results: While I know I don’t have to complete every lesson in a day, I have made the effort to do so. The 31-day teaser has me by the shirt collar and I don’t want to disappoint. It is too exciting to think I can cover all these revisions in a month’s time instead of dragging it out for many months, or, in my worst-case imagination, years.

Take-Away Value:

Although your goal, like mine, may be to finish these lessons in 31 days, you have to be realistic. It may take a little longer. Down the road, it won’t matter whether you finished revising in 31 days, 45 days, or 90 days. It only matters that you finished. That is the only goal worth worrying about.

 

 

 

Day 19 – Check the Narrative Focus

Posted on by March 20, 2015
Reply

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

Today I am checking my narrative focus to make sure it keeps the text flowing smoothly and prevents the story from wandering off on a tangent.

I will look at whether the scenes move the story forward, then check each paragraph for anything unfocused or sluggish. Last, I will check for run-on sentences or any I need to clarify.

I found quite a few paragraphs that needed to be trimmed to keep the reader from getting bored. I also found a couple of run-on sentences.

Results:  I am combining this lesson on narrative with lesson 20 that addresses dialogue. I bought some Post-It flags and flagged each page that needed changes, instead of trying to fix them one at a time. I think this will be a time saver, since I can correct all these issues in one sitting.

Take-Away Value:  

No matter how well you write, you will find places where you waxed poetic or over-explained. Put yourself in your reader’s place. If this was someone else’s story, would you read those long paragraphs, or would you skip over them?

See you on the next page.

 

Day 18 – Eliminate Unnecessary Told Prose

Posted on by March 18, 2015
Reply

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

Today I am to get rid of any unnecessary told prose. This is basically anything that tells instead of shows. I am to check for motivational tells, emotional tells, descriptive tells and placeholder adverbs.

Janice gives us “red flag” words we can do a search on, such as causing, making, when, realize, could see, the sound of, trying, because, and making.

I did the searches and found more sentences where I used the word “when” than I can list here. I was able to eliminate quite a few of them. It surprised me how much stronger the sentences read just by removing this one word or phrase. I also reworded or deleted sentences with the words trying, because, the sound of, and making.

Results: I am surprised I have so many tells. To discover and eliminate them and see my sentences become stronger is exciting.

Take-away value:

There are words we use all the time that weaken our sentences. Eliminating these “red flag” words makes our sentences stronger and crisper. Also watch out for -ly words (adverbs). They can usually be eliminated by using a stronger verb.

Do you have a lot of tells in your story? What method of search and destroy do you use?

See you on the next page.

 

Day 17 – Strengthen the Foreshadowing and Reveals

Posted on by March 18, 2015
Reply

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

Today’s lesson is to strengthen my foreshadowing and reveals. I need to create a mystery arc. There should be clues that readers can look back on and see that the answers were there the whole time.

One of my important secondary characters will turn out to be non-human. Early on he is shown to be smarter than most people. I need to add two more reference points before the final reveal. Also, one of my characters is not who he says he is. I foreshadowed this by showing a special affection for my protagonist.

Results: I can now see where I need to leave clues in my story before the final reveals.

Take-away value:

A good story leaves lots of clues that readers can look back on and see that the answers were there the whole time.

Don’t forget the Rule of Three: the first time someone sees something they merely see it. The second time, they notice it, because it stands out now. The third time, they’re looking for it because you’ve established a pattern to anticipate.

Do you have any foreshadows in your story? Do you think every genre should have some?

See you on the next page.

Day 16 – Clarify the Tone and Mood

Posted on by March 17, 2015
Reply

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

Today I am looking at the tone and mood of my novel. For me, it has always been like looking at twin brothers—hard to tell them apart. The definitions here help me understand the difference.

Tone is the background noise, like music in a movie. Mood is the lighting. It can change from scene to scene. In the best case scenario, tone and mood play off each other.

Tone – a deep, dark mystery

1.     Mood – scene – tension, fear

2.     Mood – scene – gallows humor

Tone – a light romance

1.     Mood – scene – passionate love

2.     Mood – scene – misunderstanding, hurt

Caveat: This is my interpretation. I am not a professional. You may not want to try this at home.

The tone of my book is exploring the unknown to fulfill a mission. Some of the moods are awe, confusion, doubt, and acceptance.

Results: Janice has taken a subject I have always found difficult and given me a better understanding of the differences. I want to go deeper as I work through the rest of this workshop.

Take-Away Value:

Take full advantage of how the imagery, words, rhythm and characters enhance the tone and mood. The important thing is that your tone carries through the whole story and your moods enrich that tone.

How do you interpret tone and mood? Do you have difficulty understanding them or do you have a good grip on the differences?

See you on the next page.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 15 – Clean Up the Description and Stage Direction

Posted on by March 15, 2015
Reply

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

Today’s lesson is to make sure my descriptions and stage directions are serving the story and not getting in its way. I will check to see if there is too much description or too little, whether it is clear, if my words are weak or vague, and if my stage directions (getting the characters from one place to another) contain awkward prose (such as too many steps describing everyday actions, such as logging onto the computer).

An interesting suggestion was to search for the word “try.” Our characters often ‘try’ to get up, ‘try’ to follow the path, etc., when in actuality they don’t “try,” they “do”. She gets up, he follows the path.

In Chapter 3, I added the descriptive phrase, “Though not used to the confinement of walls,” to show there were no man-made barriers in my protagonist’s world.

In Chapter 39, when an antagonist is confronted in front of a crowd, I showed the crowd restless beforehand to reflect the charged atmosphere.

In Chapter 42, I changed a sentence that said “she shook her head to try to dislodge the fog from her mind” to “she shook her head to dislodge the fog from her mind.”

Results: My enthusiasm continues to grow as my story takes shape. Taking these steps one at a time has tamped down my nervousness about revision and allowed me to enjoy the process.

Take-Away Value:

Continue to describe your scenes through your POV’s senses. Unlike a woman strolling with her lover in a beautiful park with colorful flowers during a stunning sunset, a woman escaping a rapist in the same location will only see potential weapons, scary shadows, and possible escape routes.

Don’t have your characters doing four things at once which require at least three hands. Don’t describe three steps to achieve something that could be described as well in one.

What about you? Do you tend to over-explain and over-describe, or do you struggle to get the picture in your mind on paper (or screen)? What has helped you overcome this problem?

See you on the next page.

 

 

Day 14 – Eliminate Unnecessary Infodumps

Posted on by March 15, 2015
2

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

Today I am going to identify and eliminate unnecessary infodumps, i.e., too much information in one place.

I mentioned in an earlier lesson that I spent a lot of time getting the first page of my document in good shape. There was a lot of information about the world I was building and why my protagonist had been sent there. I never considered it an infodump. Now that I have eliminated the majority of it, I wonder why I thought I needed it in the first place. I also mentioned earlier I wasn’t sure what to do with Chapter 30, which lacked conflict and tension. I have eliminated one paragraph of unnecessary info, but kept the rest, realizing I did have conflict and tension; it was just on a milder level. More importantly, the info moves the story forward.

Result: I am breathing easier now that I tackled a revision that worried me like a pulled loop in a sweater. Keeping my hands away from it did not make it go away.

Take-Away Value:

Don’t worry about infodumps when you write your first draft. That is what first drafts are for—to get down all the information you think is necessary at the time. The time to revise it is after your story is finished.

Do you agree or disagree? How do you do it?

See you on the next page.

Day 13 – Deepen the World Building and Setting

Posted on by March 15, 2015
Reply

This is the continued saga of my foray into Janice Hardy’s Revise Your Novel in 31 Days at-home workshop (blog.janicehardy.com).

Today I check my settings for clarity, character interaction with the world, and use of the senses to give the setting more dimension.

This is where I love science fiction. There are no constraints to what my world looks like, so I can paint it as I see it. Of course, the important part is painting it so the reader can see it as well.

I did add some details of the room at the bordello in Chapter 3, the Mayor’s office in Chapter 20, and the Wanderer’s Inn in Chapter 22.

Result: I think my changes make my settings richer and will give my readers a better sense of the world my characters live in.

Take-Away Value:

Settings paint a picture in the reader’s mind of what your world looks like. Remember to keep the details to those the POV character can see or sense. An agent who taught a workshop I attended suggested you see the picture in your head, freeze frame it, and take a moment to look around. Note the things you see as your eyes sweep the area. What do you smell, hear, or touch?

How about you? Is there a different way you describe your setting that makes more sense to you? I am interested in any suggestions for improvement.

See you on the next page.